Alec William Nelson

By BY ALFONSO A. CASTILLO, April 21, 2007

When our third child Alec was born, his eyes looked so small. The nurse laughed and said, Oh no, his eyes are every bit as big as the rest of him. She was right. Alec did have the biggest, loveliest blue eyes.

I am the last of eight children and when Alec was born in December 2002, he became my parent’s 25th grandchild. Alec was the happiest baby. It was so easy to make him laugh and our other 2 children loved to do that.

Adriann and I have always made the safety of our children our highest priority. One of the major reasons we bought our house that we live in was because it is the last house on a dead-end street and we knew it would be safer for the kids. Adriann bought cargo nets for our station wagon to keep objects from flying around in case of an accident. Our children are the most important thing in our lives, and there is so much I could share about them, but this letter would be way too long.

No parent is ever prepared to lose a child. I always thought the worst thing I would have to do is bury my parents. But on April 24th of last year, a close family member backed up his SUV and ran over Alec, killing him instantly. I can not tell you how devastated our family has been from this horrific accident. We have faith and we know Alec is in heaven; however our hearts are still broken.

We are fortunate to have no regrets with him. Adriann is a flight attendant, but with family leave and other time off, she never had to leave him to go to work. We brought him everywhere. In Alec’s 16 months, he flew to Italy, Aruba, San Francisco, Chicago, Florida, Washington DC and Kentucky. He even skied on my back in the Catskills. He did more in his short life then some people do in lifetime. It is our hope that in his death, he will have more of an impact on people’s lives than most do.

In the year since Alec died we have been grieving him every day, and I am sure that will go on for the rest of our lives. We have been busy helping our other children through this agonizing time, and cannot speak highly enough of Bereavement Counseling. We were blessed with a daughter in February, and I can’t tell you how much she means to us and the rest of our family. We have also been busy honoring Alec’s life and trying to make a difference to others. Over $50,000 was donated by friends, family and strangers to build Alec’s Playground for children in a poor neighborhood in Huntington Station. Now those children have a safe place to play. Last December, in honor of Alec’s second birthday, dinner was cooked for veterans at the Northport VA Hospital on Christmas day, and we gave 70 pairs of winter gloves, hats and thermal socks as a gift to everyone who came to the dinner.

We also created the Alec William Nelson Charitable Corporation whose primary goal is to help children and families in need. We met with social workers from the local school district and Alec’s Corporation started paying for needy children’s lunches. Many of these children can’t afford school field trips and after school programs, things that most of us take for granted. We are trying to make a small difference in these children’s lives by sponsoring them for these activities, instead of them having to stay in the nurse’s office or the library while their class goes on a field trip. In April, we organized a 4 mile race in our hometown of Dix Hills and over 500 people came and ran in Alec’s Run, “A Celebration of Life”. It was a wonderful event and we also informed people of the dangers of the “blind spot” behind vehicles, which is so big, it is now being called the blind zone.

We have also been working with Kids And Cars. This organization has made tremendous strides in working to make cars safer for children, but there is much more to be done. We were appalled to learn that this type of tragedy kills at least two children a week across America and injures thousands every year.

There have been at least two incidents on Long Island since Alec’s. People just don’t realize how quickly something like this can happen and there are no official statistics being kept, just the ones the Kids And Cars is able to document. Tragically, most of these incidents are preventable and most of the time the driver is the child’s parent or family member. I can’t begin to tell you how this devastates a family. Even if we can help prevent one family from going through what we are going through, it is well worth it.

They say that the death of a child robs the parents of the future. Every day we wonder about Alec, what he would look like, what he would be saying, how he would play with his brother and sisters. We have met many bereaved parents and we have that common bond, the pain and agony of losing a child. You know what you have all gone through, and are going though, every day of your life. Our lives are forever changed. It is our hope that through awareness and existing technology,the tragic backover deaths can be eliminated. Thank you for taking the time to read about our little boy Alec, who is loved and missed so dearly.

Alec’s Mom and Dad.

http://www.alecsplayground.com/

Seth McCartney

By COLLEEN KRANTZ
August 14, 2005

De Soto, Ia. – Outside, in the yard, a sheet covered Seth’s body.
Inside, the 3-year-old’s siblings huddled in a bedroom, crying and praying. Deputies asked all the necessary questions as the forgotten chicken-and-macaroni casserole dried out in the oven.

Marc McCartney, his jeans dirty from kneeling beside his son, turned to Stephanie, his wife of 10 years.

” Please forgive me.”

Just a few hours before, Marc McCartney had backed a Bobcat skid loader into their youngest son.

Seth McCartney died Sept. 29, 2003, after an afternoon of “helping” his dad, two older brothers and younger sister with landscaping work around their recently constructed home outside De Soto. It started as a happy, sunny fall day.

After their dad deposited piles of landscaping rock with the skid loader – a compact machine used on farms and in construction – the children would help move the rock into place with a toy shovel, toy rake and wheelbarrow.

Everything changed shortly after 5:30 p.m. that day when they were quitting for supper, just as Stephanie and Seth’s older sister were arriving home from piano lessons.

It was 5-year-old Samuel’s scream that first told Marc McCartney he hadn’t just backed into a toy wheelbarrow. It was a sound that stopped his mom as she was about to go inside.

Much later, Samuel would say that his little brother Seth had been pushing the little red wheelbarrow, just looking up at the sky.

Seth wasn’t watching the skid loader. And his dad didn’t see his youngest boy as he put the nearly two-ton machine in reverse.

In a hundred ways, the raw journey that Marc and Stephanie McCartney had begun as they collapsed beside their son’s crumpled body would be like that of other parents who lose a child so early, so unexpectedly.

Yet when a parent or other relative is the driver in an accident that kills a child, their immediate role is infinitely more difficult to set aside than in a drowning or other tragedy. Guilt can become a haunting presence.

Adrianna Frances Clemens

January 16, 2002 – October 9, 2004

A Mothers Story about the Life and Death of Her Little Girl

October 9, 2004 started out as a normal Saturday morning in our home.  My son had a few friends upstairs that had stayed over night to celebrate his 6^th birthday.  My husband was in the kitchen that morning preparing breakfast.  Adrianna and I were talking about what mothers and daughters always relate to going shopping.

As the hours went on, the most horrifying and worst nightmare a parent can ever possibly imagine happened.  In less than a moment, I looked down and my precious daughter was gone an image that no mother, no parent, no soul should ever have to see!!  Adrianna was helplessly in the arms of her father.

OOH NO!  NOT ME GOD; PLEASE DO NOT TAKE MY DAUGHTER, MY ANGEL.  SHE IS MY PRINCESS. OH GOD PLEASE!  ADRIANNA IS MY LIFE!!”

The death of a child is and always will be the worst tragedy a parent could ever live through.  Half of your soul dies with your child; leaving you paralyzed by knowing that your life, from that day on, will never be the same.

My goal as a parent is to share Adrianna’s story with other parents by informing them about a horrible epidemic that is happening to children every where.  Children under the age of 4 are tragically being killed because they cannot be seen behind the larger vehicles everyone is driving.  These unbelievable tragedies are happening in our own driveways—right outside of our homes.

Manufacturers have been designing vehicles including SUVs, TRUCKS, and MINIVANS with “blind-spots” ranging from 13 to 55 feet!!!  As a result, it is impossible for ANY DRIVER to see what is behind them when they are backing up.

The most chilling fact about this epidemic is that 60% of the time this happens it is a parent who is behind the wheel and they are killing their own children.

Adrianna Frances Clemens died on October 9, 2004.  The most agonizing pain is that Adrianna tragically was backed over by her own father.

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Noah James Dreblow

May 18, 2007, a day that changed our lives forever.

This is the story of Noah James Dreblow, January 27, 2006 – May 18, 2007.

It was a beautiful day that day. A very vibrant 15-month old Noah was at his grandma and grandpa’s house. Grandma was working in her flower garden and Christopher, Noah’s cousin – age 10, and Noah were playing with the basketballs. The driveway was not your typical driveway. It was a long driveway which opened up to a very large area where the basketball goal was located. Grandpa went to move his company van so that the kids could play basketball.

While Grandpa went to move the van, Christopher went into the garage to get another basketball. At that time, Noah went after Grandpa because he liked to ride with him. Grandpa did not see Noah trying to approach him and hit him with the van. The scream that filled the air from Christopher could be heard throughout the neighborhood. Christopher tried to stop Grandpa by beating on the van but Grandpa didn’t hear him. Grandma came running to the van only to see Noah laying there. Noah passed in her arms. Although 911 was called, there was nothing that could be done. Frantic calls were made to Noah’s mother, Erica, Derek, Noah’s dad and to me (Christopher’s mom) from my 13 year old daughter, Shannon. She too came upon the scene only to take Tyler, Noah’s 3 year old brother away from the area of the accident. Noah’s mom and dad arrived from work as fast as they could. Because of the severity of Noah’s head injuries, the medical personnel would not allow Erica and Derek to be with their son. We buried Noah four days later.

The family today is attempting to cope the best we can. The very first year was a difficult year to get through because of all the holidays and birthdays without Noah. Just the wondering of how he would be and how he would have reacted to all these events was just struggle in itself. Erica is expecting another son due in September 2008. Tyler asks about his baby Noah all the time. He misses him dearly. Erica feels he still has a special connection with his little brother spiritually. We know Noah is in a better place and through our faith and trusting in God’s plan, we know we will see him again.

In June 2007, one month after Noah’s death, a friend of the family offered to do a motorcycle ride entitled Noah’s Ride. The contributions went to the reblow family that year. This year, we are gearing up for the Second Annual Noah’s Ride. The proceeds this year will go to Ark Crisis Child Care. Check out Noah’s myspace at www.myspace.com search Noah Dreblow.

Please don’t let this happen to you or anyone you know. Make sure you know where every child is before you even get into your vehicle. Don’t even turn the key until you know that every child is secured and away from the vehicle. This could have been prevented if sensory devices were installed on the vehicle, especially cargo van used by companies.